I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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