we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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