I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
