all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
