i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
