K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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