So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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