Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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