shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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