i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My ass is underappreciated
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize