what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
