Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
