I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
40s are totally the cure
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
