i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
