Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
