yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
