My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
