Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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