oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
