Your dad touched me again.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
