but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We need to get me chipped asap
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
