I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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