the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
