never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize