she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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