I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
