i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
