how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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