Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize