ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
