i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
