the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
