i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
