Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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