i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
This can only be settled by a dance off.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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