It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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