ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
