yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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