My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He felt like a one man threesome
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have already put on my inside pants.
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