You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
