Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Couch. On fire.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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