There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I want her autograph on my taint
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
