how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
