no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
