R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
