Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
