my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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