one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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