Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Oh god it's open bar.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
