It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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