Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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