We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
