its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
