oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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