I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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