he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize