Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
