Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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