you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize