I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
