A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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