just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
