my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize