is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
