I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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