dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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