i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
