Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
